A Man. And His Blog.

OH MY GOD, IT’S A LIST!

With the new year of 2012 having arrived (and most likely being the last one human kind lives, since the Mayan calender is ending), I will start to make some lists. Some Twitter people have realized that dudes, besides being the strongest critics out there, make lists to make their point of view visitable for everybody. Chicks rather try to get into one topic, love it, forget all around it, and don’t even think to make lists. Exceptions welcome, but this is how I see it. And since I haven’t made any lists titled “Best of 2011″, I figured I could make some for 2012 – ending with all the Best Ofs, right before the world ends, or the aliens attack. Whichever comes first.

The first topic will be the blockbusters in cinema of 2012. Everybody is talking about THE HOBBIT, DJANGO UNCHAINED, THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS or the reboot of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. Well, I will only talk about two of those four movies, because the other two I don’t care about. Hereby I present, in order, my Top 12 of movies I will anticipate and await in this calender year. Here’s the second part, highlighting the most anticipated six movies for this year. Go here for the first part of this list.

6. John Carter

Release: March 9, 2012
Writer: Mark Andrews & Michael Chabon & Andrew Stanton
Director: Andrew Stanton

People probably don’t know the history of this movie. The franchise was invented back in the 1910s, by that guy, who also invented Tarzan: Edgar Rice Burroughs. And since only a few people know this fact, the audience will probably cry foul-play, when JOHN CARTER is going to be released. It looks too much like STAR WARS, it feels too much like AVATAR. In fact, it was STAR WARS and AVATAR, which were inspired bu the “Barsoom” franchise, and its first novel “A Princess of Mars”. So, before you cry foul, better check the story of one movie. Otherwise everybody can blame you for not knowing anything.

Well, it’s not the history of the story, which turns me on, it is the fact that I’m developing a huge man-crush on Taylor Kitsch (JOHN CARTER is his second movie on this list). And human versus aliens is always fantastic to look at, especially when the aliens are going to be major characters and not just antagonists. When you know the “Barsoom” franchise, you’ll know that John Carter is in contact with the aliens, that he is falling in love with a princess (considered an alien, in a logical sense), that he has to battle for a race he doesn’t even belong to. Basically like AVATAR, but even James Cameron’s 3D alien action warfare movie is just a copy of the story of Pocahontas.

I’m just disappointed about the numerous title changes. Sure, I never liked “A Princess of Mars” much, but why shorting “John Carter of Mars” to the final JOHN CARTER? Maybe Disney fears that their next best movie franchise will blow up in the movie-goers’ faces? Anyway, I’m actually not expecting much from it, instead a visual experience, like AVATAR. But I’m expecting for Taylor Kitsch to rise to stardom and getting his X-Men prequel. And maybe Disney is lucky enough to get another success and a franchise going. It wouldn’t hurt to have the mother of science-fiction on board for a little while.

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5. The Amazing Spider-Man

Release: July 3, 2012
Writer: Alvin Sargent & Steve Kloves
Director: Mark Webb

So, Sony had to do another Spider-Man movie before 2012, or they would lose the rights. So, they managed to make Sam Raimi angry, when they got into his business of planning the third sequel. So, they wanted to have the Lizard as the main villain of the fourth movie, which was seen by Raimi as idiotic. So, Raimi and Tobey Maguire hopped from the train, ultimately killing Spider-Man 4. Blah blah. I’m just angry about all the people, who are crying foul-play here, because people don’t know (again) the story of this movie, and how Sony HAD TO do something. Okay, they could have decided to make a third sequel with a different cast and director, but how would that have looked like? But I have a beef with Sony now, and I just have to say one thing: STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MOVIES OF ESTABLISHED DIRECTORS! If you wanna make a Spider-Man movie with the Lizard in it, make it yourself and don’t press the director to do it. Sure, you can press the screen writer, because it’s just commissioned work (and writers can live with work like this), but pushing a director to do a movie he doesn’t envision? That’s just balls.

Then again, I have trust in Mark Webb (despite my early doubts he can carry a multi-million dollar franchise like this). He was probably pushed to make a movie, as Sony wants to have it (instead of fully trusting cast and crew). And I have trust in Andrew Garfield. Both men showed in (500) DAYS OF SUMMER and THE SOCIAL NETWORK their talents, and they can carry this movie. They can also the new version of the Spider-Man franchise, if it should be a success. And I love Emma Stone, so everything is in place for a nice little summer blockbuster with one of my Marvel heroes. I just hope the success of the movie doesn’t give the studios right, who want to reboot and remake all their stories within a five-year span.

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4. The Hunger Games

Release: March 23, 2012
Writer: Suzanne Collins & Billy Ray & Gary Ross
Director: Gary Ross

I can’t believe I’ve heard directly about the book franchise a couple of months ago. I saw the script for this movie in 2010′s Black List, but I haven’t had found a chance back then to read it. When the year grew closer to the fall months, I actually heard about the book, and what it’s about. So, I got the audio book version of it (I don’t have time to read books anymore – sue television for it), listened to it, loved it. It was so much different than I would have expected. Far from any other adult novel out there, far from being compared to TWILIGHT, just because those two franchises happen to collide, and show young people in love. And in danger. Then I finally read the script. And was disappointed that it tried to push on the love story between Katniss and Peeta way too much. As if somebody tried (or pushed) the crew to make the movie look more like TWILIGHT, because the studio is hoping to get the same audience. But THE HUNGER GAMES is so much different from a love story, and has actually the chance to shine as a social-critic movie, as an apocalyptic movie without the apocalypse. As a suspenseful and character-based thriller, set in a very young world.

That’s why I think the movie experience will be not as sweet as the book experience. During the book I had some goosebumps, and I don’t know if the same is going to happen – knowing all about the story and having read the script) – in the movie. But then again, there is a great cast with Jennifer Lawrence as the heroine and Donald Sutherland as the antagonist in the long run (the one scene in the first part of “Catching Fire” between the two… if a second movie is coming, I’m expecting awesomeness on the screen). I don’t like that THE HUNGER GAMES is going to be PG though. It would have been a great risk to make a young adult movie, which is in fact R rated. But I can understand the studio toning down the violence to get the cash back and to make the two sequels happen. I just want THE HUNGER GAMES to be an awesome flick, to be Katniss-centered, like the book. To be violent, despite the PG rating. To be more than just a love story.

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3. The Dark Knight Rises

Release: July 20, 2012
Writer: Jonathan Nolan & Christopher Nolan
Director: Christopher Nolan

I don’t even need to say much about THE DARK KNIGHT RISES. Everybody else has already. They have theorized., they have complained, they have screamed “AWESOME!!!” – so, what’s for me to say, except that with Christopher Nolan, you can’t do anything wrong? Here I just have one thing to say: Warner Bros. is a much better movie studio to work with than Sony. When you compare it with the history of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, WB had full trust in Nolan and his crew. They knew that Nolan would deliver a great movie, they knew that he knows all about the franchise to not disappoint the audience. That’s what Sony probably doesn’t have: trust in the franchise to trust the director for delivering his version of the franchise. And that’s why it’s gonna be a great duel between Spider-Man and Batman: Which movie is going to be better quality-wise, and which movie is going to be talked about more? Which franchise turns out to be the most trustful at the end. Honestly, everybody knows the answer already (it’s Batman), but the duel of two superhero franchises is more interesting, when you bring the trust factor into the game.

Other than that, no question that THE DARK KNIGHT RISES will be an awesome flick. After the epic that was THE DARK KNIGHT, I expect no less from Nolan. Instead I expect the story being more intertwined with the characters than the previous movie. Nolan is a good writer, he understands his craft. Which is why I think an apocalypse should happen, before THE DARK KNIGHT RISES sucks balls. Which is why I should continue to follow Nolan’s career. When you want to make it big in the business, learn from the best while studying the best. I’m currently doing it with Aaron Sorkin and realized that not even the dialog master himself is the screenwriting god. I’m sure that even Nolan will have his flaws, and they will be visible again in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, like they were visible in THE DARK KNIGHT at some points.

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2. Prometheus

Release: June 8, 2012
Writer: Jon Spaihts & Damon Lindelof
Director: Ridley Scott

Whether it’s the official ALIEN prequel or not; whether it’s going to be the shit-in-the-pants horror the first ALIEN from 1979 used to be or not; whether Ridley Scott actually took all his time and effort to create a simple, scary science-fiction masterpiece or not … PROMETHEUS will be watched, it will rule, and it will (hopefully) change the sci-fi-horror genre again. I expect, similar with THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, for this movie to have flaws, to be as quiet, but daring, as ALIEN. Since I was born in the wrong decade, I’m used to see ALIEN as a movie, which has great horror, which is a great sci-fi-flick, but which is also great in making me tired every now and then. With PROMETHEUS I hope that Ridley Scott has arrived in the 21st Century with his next installment of true sci-fi-horror. Emphasis on HORROR!

Hollywood needs real shockers again. PARANORMAL ACTIVITIES gets milked; all the slasher movies are never really thrilling, and the last horror movie to really shock me in ways was the independent PENNY DREADFUL (fuck the people, who say this movie is shit – it scared me!). So, can PROMETHEUS bring the genre with goosebumps and shock effects back on track? Or is it all just warm words? The thing is: I believe Scott in delivering the next true horror piece here. I know Scott disappointed every now and then (thankfully with movies I haven’t seen yet, like G.I. JANE), but I also know he can be taken seriously, when he talks awesome about his movies. So, here it is: He talks awesome about PROMETHEUS. setting the bar high for the waiting audience. And the trailer shows why he should be trusted. It’s gonna be the most awesome movie of the year.

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1. Gravity

Release: Oct 19, 2012
Writer: Alfonso Cuarón & Jonás Cuarón & Rodrigo García
Director: Alfonso Cuarón

Why this one is on the list? Because I FUCKING loved the script. If you remember the script review I posted way back (and deleted in again, before anybody could sue me), you know how much and why I loved it, and why it could be a great character piece for Sandra Bullock. I even wouldn’t have mind for Angelina Jolie to play the major role (she declined twice), because I could totally imagine her in the role without being too much of the action heroine she is. Or the sexy lady she is. The role of Ryan doesn’t need the status of a sex symbol or the action heroine. It’s a fight for survival, and how the actress should find a way to carry more than half of the movie by herself.

In addition, the style of the script was awesome. Action in zero gravity, action in real-time, and dangers and threats behind every corner. As long as Alfonso Cuarón is lucky enough to make his script and his movie his own, he will definitely deliver an underappreciated masterpiece, which will be recognized when awards time comes. And who knows, maybe Cuarón has a surprise for us and shoots the script in one continuous shot, as some people on the web are thinking.

Short things even shorter: When the movie is as great as the script, Sandra Bullock will have to make a date for the 2013 Academy Awards, and in addition I hope that a movie like this – set in space, in real-time, and just being a simple space-thriller without aliens (basically like MOON, just not set on the moon and with way more thrill) – will create a new little hype of underappreciated space movies. MOON was a critics darling and is one of my all-time favorites for its simplicity in the setting, but courage in its story. GRAVITY could be the same. Plus, the fucking awesome script, and you have the reason why this is the most anticipated movie on my list.

OH MY GOD, IT’S A LIST!

With the new year of 2012 having arrived (and most likely being the last one human kind lives, since the Mayan calender is ending), I will start to make some lists. Some Twitter people have realized that dudes, besides being the strongest critics out there, make lists to make their point of view visitable for everybody. Chicks rather try to get into one topic, love it, forget all around it, and don’t even think to make lists. Exceptions welcome, but this is how I see it. And since I haven’t made any lists titled “Best of 2011″, I figured I could make some for 2012 – ending with all the Best Ofs, right before the world ends, or the aliens attack. Whichever comes first.

The first topic will be the blockbusters in cinema of 2012. Everybody is talking about THE HOBBIT, DJANGO UNCHAINED, THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS or the reboot of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. Well, I will only talk about two of those four movies, because the other two I don’t care about. Hereby I present, in order, my Top 12 of movies I will anticipate and await in this calender year. Here’s the first part, highlighting the first six movies for this year, and tomorrow you’ll get the next batch of future (summer) blockbusters.

12. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Release: June 22, 2012
Writer: Seth Grahame-Smith & Simon Kinberg
Director: Timur Bekmambetov

This movie is on this list for one single reason: I wanna see if it’s as bad as the screenplay was. I couldn’t begin much with the story, or why it looked so damn serious. While reading I never realized why Grahame-Smith never eased the story with humor, or some funny characters. When you mix up history with fiction, as Grahame-Smith basically did with “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies”. If you like those mix-ups of Grahame-Smiths crazy ideas with a world of history, art and literature, then you’ll probably gonna like this flick. Other people will realize it’s like VAN HELSING: interesting sounding and looking, but no story to talk off, which shows style over substance. And that’s something, which annoyed me with X-MEN: THE LAST STAND, and it’s something ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER will have problems with.

At least it’s gonna be a (forgettable?) little action flick. People should better stop expecting much from it, and the only thing, which can save the movie, is its cast. How is Benjamin Walker doing as one of the most iconic US Presidents in the history? How awesome will Mary Elisabeth Winstead be, from whom I still waiting for a LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD character-spinoff? How awful will this movie really be? Maybe the script just didn’t deliver the tone of the movie, and it becomes a fairytale-ish kinda movie, as HANNA proved to be (the screenplay of HANNA was first awful, but the movie turned out to be awesome). But maybe ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER will not be a success some of the fans of the books are probably thinking right now. It’s gonna be difficult for this movie, and I wanna see it how it’ll hold up.

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11. American Reunion

Release: April 6, 2012
Writer: John Hurwiz & Hayden Schlossberg
Director: John Hurwiz & Hayden Schlossberg

I still remember back to the time, when I saw the first movie for the first time. It was in a bus while on a way to (or maybe back from) the Czech Republic. I was laughing, like everyone else riding in the bus. It was a fun movie, though I barely saw or understand anything (because of the very small screen, sun shining through the windows, bus driving and stuff…), but I never forgot the experience I had that time. Then I saw AMERICAN PIE again, when it aired on TV for the first time, and I was laughing again. Since then, it is one of my all-time favorite comedies, though story-wise, the movie can’t hold its stand against flicks, which actually have a well-thought storyline and some characters, who are not used for the punchline. AMERICAN PIE was still a great comedy though, with some tits no less. The first and second sequel were quite fine, but they never really could bring me back to loving the stupid and charming characters like I did in AMERICAN PIE. And I don’t wanna talk about the nonsense direct-to-DVD sequels, because I haven’t seen them (I don’t even know how many are out there).

That Universal waited so long to get another “official” sequel into the market is good, but when it comes to me, they could have waited a bit longer. AMERICAN WEDDING will be nine years old at the release of AMERICAN REUNION, and having the title-giving reunion 13 years after high school is a bit … of a short time. How great would AMERICAN REUNION have been taken by the audience, if it would have been released in 2019 – 20 years after the first movie? But I don’t wanna get much into it, I’m pretty glad it’s coming out now, and the trailer promises not just comedy, but also some drama (Jim’s mom died?). Maybe even more of a storyline than the first movie? After all, AMERICAN WEDDING ended the original trilogy basically on a high note, after AMERICAN PIE 2 was just another college-sex comedy, just set in a mainstream world.

That AMERICAN REUNION made it on this list (and not MEN IN BLACK 3, for example) is thanks to the lovable characters. I want to see their friendship living again; I want to see them having their best night of their lives again.

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10. Battleship

Release: May 18, 2012
Writer: Erich Hoeber & Jon Hoeber
Director: Peter Berg

The only reason this movie is on my waiting list is because of Peter Berg. He delivered a great and under-appreciated movie with FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, he developed it into a fantastic TV show, which I plan to watch in its completion this year, and he showed with HANCOCK that he is a good director. And he could be better when he has a better script to work with. Not that I expect a good script with BATTLESHIP (in fact I expect it to be total crap), but I’m expecting a blowing and glowing blockbuster, which is made to entertain the audience with a battle between humans and aliens. Like all the other science-fiction flicks out there.

The trailer already proves that BATTLESHIP is ready to blow away the audience with effects, explosions, and loads of patriotism. Also Taylor Kitsch, who has the opportunity to rise to a star with this (and the also upcoming JOHN CARTER). But nobody should expect BATTLESHIP to be all kinds of better than BATTLE: LOS ANGELES, or to reach the retro qualities of one SUPER 8. Yet, it’s Peter Berg who sat on the directing chair, and I trust him to have delivered a fun flick you can watch, you can cheer for, but can also forget after you leave the movie theater. BATTLESHIP shouldn’t be much else, despite its creation as a board game. The only thing adapted from the game is probably the dialog “You sank my battleship”, but this alone is worth the movie, especially when it comes from Liam Neeson.

The only displease I have with BATTLESHIP: Rihanna. I don’t wanna see her in this. But since the trailer thankfully overlooks her, there is the chance she will die early on in the movie. And then all hands on deck, because BATTLESHIP will be awesome.

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9. Snow White and the Huntsman

Release: June 1, 2012
Writer: Hossein Amini & Evan Daugherty & Evan Spiliotopoulos
Director: Rupert Sanders

It’s probably coincidence that the fourth movie in this list is also the third movie from Universal. But I don’t care. The reason why SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN is on this list, is simple: The trailer won against MIRROR MIRROR, which seems to be the comedic version of the fairytale. And I need a darker version of fairytales, because that’s what they are: dark as shit, dangerous for the characters, deadly and fearful. And that’s what the trailer suggests the movie will be all about. Fuck Kristen Stewart and her monotone gestures. Fuck if it is just the toned-down version of movies like THE LORD OF THE RINGS, or the adult version of the CHRONICLES OF NARNIA franchise. I still loved the trailer, and I’m expecting something from it.

The reason the movie probably won’t be fulfilling those expectations is Kristen Stewart. I don’t get why people see her as the rising star in Hollywood. Even though I have never seen TWILIGHT, I believe her role could have been pulled off by any girl on this planet. I believe that the whole Kristen-maniac, after TWILIGHT proved to be the “best movie ever!!!!!!1111ONEONE” for girls aged 10 to 16, won’t be helping her much in the next couple of years. I believe she can’t prove herself as the new Hollywood starlet, as long as she doesn’t get a role she can really pull off. And I also believe this role is not Snow White. Instead, Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron will rock this movie, and judging from the title (Chris Hemsworth is the huntsman) and the trailer (which focuses on the evil queen), Snow White won’t really have much to do. Which can only be great, if you ask me. The less Kristen, the better SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN. And for the rest, she actually has to show what she is capable to do after TWILIGHT.

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8. The Bourne Legacy

Release: August 3, 2012
Writer: Tony Gilroy & Dan Gilroy
Director: Tony Gilroy

A movie, which doesn’t even have a poster or a trailer, and I’m awaiting it already. Okay, it’s a sequel to a trilogy, but it’s nonetheless an interesting project. Continuing the Bourne franchise without the titular character of the first three movies will definitely be a difficult thing to pull off. That’s why I’m waiting for it: I wanna know if the Gilroys managed to capture the the story and can tell it without Matt Damon in the movie. And I’m pretty optimistic about the outcome. Jeremy Renner? He’s proving to be a late action hero these days. Should he be chosen as Tom Cruise’s successor for MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, and when THE BOURNE LEGACY proves to be a success, Renner suddenly has two franchises all by himself. Christian Bale once had two great franchises in his hand, but TERMINATOR SALVATIOn wasn’t a darling with the critics and audiences…

With no material to judge the quality of the upcoming movie (I haven’t read the book), I can’t say much about my anticipation. Except I love Renner, I love Edward Norton, and that Pamela Landy will be again the first villain (?) of the story, just to be replaced by the real villain mid-movie, is just a way of telling that Gilroy is serious about THE BOURNE LEGACY being part of the Bourne franchise. And that it can work without its main character.

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7. The Avengers

Release: May 4, 2012
Writer: Zak Penn & Joss Whedon
Director: Joss Whedon

I trust Zak and Joss. They are geeks. They are comic nerds. They know what the audience wants from the superhero mash-up. That’s why THE AVENGERS should be considered a sure hit, despite my expectations that it won’t be going much into a story, similar like THOR and CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER. But it’s goddamn Joss Whedon. He gave me Buffy, he gave FIREFLY and SERENITY to the rest, and his fandom is just waiting for him to deliver his next movie. Here it is, and it’s the result of Marvel’s great plan of building a movie franchise.

You have to admit, it’s pretty clever to give (almost) every superhero of THE AVENGERS his own origins movie. It’s a great marketing strategy, which Warner Bros. will eventually copy, when they finally decide to get the Justice League onto the big league (but with the finale of Nolan’s Batman franchise and the once-again reboot of Superman, who knows when the JLA is coming), and it has already paid off very well for Marvel. After all, IRON MAN is a movie franchise with future (should Robert Downey Jr. decide to make the third movie), THOR will have its sequel, and who knows if Hawkeye, alias Jeremy Renner his second movie on the list), will get a character-based spin-off after THE AVENGERS. Conclusion: This movie doesn’t just stand for the reassembling for Marvel’s famous superheroes, they give them a chance to stretch out to a bigger universe, to make the rather smaller characters shine. If THE AVENGERS is working, many more sequels will come, and not just with the superheroes as a team.

That’s why it’s so interesting to follow the history of THE AVENGERS. That’s why is fairly high on my list. And not just because I have discovered my love for comics again in summer 2010. THE AVENGERS couldn’t come in a more perfect time.