A Man. And His Blog.

Don’t consider me as a reality freak, who doesn’t have any interest in fictional TV shows anymore. The reason why I watched H8R was mostly because of the reaction of this show on Twitter. I must have thought to myself that H8R is so bad, it has to be watched to be experienced as one of the worst shows in television. But here I am, telling you the following now: H8R is not the worst television show in the history of television. She might be the most useless show on broadcast TV at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s the worst show. It was actually quite entertaining.

That doesn’t mean you should download H8R right now and watch it. That’s what I’m here for: I watch this shit, so you don’t have to. And I didn’t even wanna watch this shit, but since Nicole Pollizi was part of the H8R premiere, I had to get the episode and take a look. If you think I’m a fan of hers, or JERSEY SHORE in general, you’re misinformed. But the episode proved that I was always right: People don’t know how the media is able to form their thoughts, and people don’t expect how they are actually ruling life at this time. Let’s just say it: We all hate JERSEY SHORE, because a bunch of 25-year-old teens drink and party all the time, beat each other up, and have nothing else to do than getting the $30.000 each episode from MTV and making themselves rich people, though they have nothing in their brains. Well, I don’t know exactly, if all of this is in fact true, but I already know that the people on JERSEY SHORE are not that bad like the media wants us to believe. That’s why I find the creation of this show interesting, since it really cleans up some of the undeserved hate for some celebrities. H8R doesn’t rely on the media, in fact it somehow draws an authentic picture of one celebrity. And now the viewers can decide, whether to love or hate the true and authentic celebrity.

Celebrity number one was Nicole Polizzi, also known as Snooki. Her hater was Nick, some guy with some rants about his hating object. The introduction between the two was completely horrible, and the whole camera movement (zooming in and out in record time for about five minutes) made even me sick. In addition, I never knew what was (probably) written for the show and what was real. Because I can’t imagine that Nick was in the bar by accident, and I don’t believe that some of the cameras were actually hidden cameras. I have the feeling that Nick was in fact a true hater in the meaning of this show, but everything with him in front of the camera was staged, until Snooki began shopping. Or maybe even beyond that, because I also can’t imagine that Nick was about to fall in love during the shopping tour. That’s how the first half of the first episode half was for me: somewhat between a MTV reality show, and scripted real-tainment. Not really entertaining, not funny, but at least it showed Snooki as Nicole. The dinner with Nick’s parents was interesting though, when Nick’s father came in front of the camera, and looked like as if he was plotting Nicole’s death. There were some unintentionally hilarious moments during the celebrity family dinner, and if it would ave been a straight-scripted comedy, it could have been as worse (for the characters of the show) as the lesbian inferno dinner in BBC’s COUPLING.

Celebrity number two was Jake Parvelka, whom I didn’t know at all, because I don’t watch THE BACHELOR. So, I was pretty much a „hater“ like Danielle, his very own hater, though I didn’t even know him. But I could see the second episode half from Danielle’s point of view, and I must say I was totally on her side. Jake was in fact a little douche, who doesn’t really know what he’s doing, and his behavior is not really … normal, to be nice. He said during the talking-head moments that he was his true self with Danielle, that he wasn’t playing on his reality-celebrity status. Well, maybe that was a mistake, because his true self wasn’t really nice at all. He tried to be, but he wasn’t. He tried the whole date with Danielle to be a real date, as if he was still on THE BACHELOR or some other dating show, and he never tried to be his very true self. Cameras were accompanying them, and he was more of a celebrity in this episode than a true person – contrary to Nicole, who was more a real person than a celebrity. Especially his decision to drive to the BACHELOR mansion, where everything happened … Why did he decide to drive to the mansion? Whose idea was it? Even I would know to not bring my hater to the place, where they started to hate me. I don’t know if Jake was actually thinking back then…

So, what’s the result of this show, and what am I taking with it? Well, first: Not even reality shows like this are stupid and horrible like most of the TV critics want me to believe. You have to come up with something worse to shock me. Second: Why the hell is H8R airing on a network? Of course it would totally bomb. It would have been better suited as an MTV reality-documentation, or maybe on cable stations like E! or Bravo. But maybe H8R is just a way for The CW to save some money, and get their reality-Wednesdays on a roll. Third: Snooki showed herself as the real herself, which showed me that she can be cool and awesome and stuff. I can’t speak for Jake, because I don’t know him, but when it comes to Nicole, H8R succeeded in showing the real faces behind the celebrity persons. Now if only the show itself would be a bit better. Without all those camera zooming, without those „moving picture in a moving picture“ effects (I actually don’t know how it’s called), and without Mario Lopez annoying me all the time. Furthermore, H8R could have more moments like Jake trying to impress Danielle, before the cameras came. His flirt offensive and push-ups were hilarious to look at. That was almost a „hidden camera“ laugh-in show than a reality-documentation. 7/10

Nick is confused: 'What the fuck is that bitch doing in my bar?'

Women: How can you hate that guy?