A Man. And His Blog.

Sometimes I would wish that the cliffhanger was invented before STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION decided it to use it as the closing moment of the season. I yawned, when the first season ended that boring, even with a boring story, and not too much Spiderman action as well. I already knew this show would bore me, but the season finale, even if it was an intended one, or even if the writers thought about bringing some awesomeness into a season finale, showed me that the series is more boring than expected.

Well, the episode wasn’t too bad, but the first half was kinda confusing and riddled with inconsistencies. Peter (Nicholas Hammond) hangs around at the airport to take pictures from some foreign president named Calderon (Alejandro Rey) and his daughter Lisa (Barbara Luna), and he senses a kidnapping. Good for him, but how did he connect the kidnapping with the arrival of Calderon? I didn’t see any reason, why he should have, and I didn’t see any reason, why Peter wasn’t even investigating the kidnapping first, and instead he showed up as Lisa’s escort (and damn, it was predictable that she will be kidnapped out of the ladies’ room). Like I said, there was absolutely no reason why Peter knew about the kidnapping happening, because Calderon arrived

Other than that, the rest of the episode was kinda lame. Spiderman investigated way too much in here (how he showed the sketch from one of the bad guys to Calderon was hilarious), and his stunt in the villains’ hide-out was hilarious as well. I couldn’t stop laughing, when Peter suddenly starts to sneeze (awkward sound effect, btw), and Matsu (Harold Sakata) is kicking the shit out of him. Of course Peter just played the unconscious guy to overcome the bad guys, but how he “did” it during the non-fight (falling from the terrace, falling into the dozens of cartons) was really hilarious, and probably one of the most hilarious scenes in this show so far.

But it wasn’t the end of the funny Spiderman: I’ve had to laugh, when Matsu fell into the water, because he missed hitting Spiderman with a swing. His facial expression, while he was about to fall into the wet was golden. On the other hand I found the motivations for the story were lame. Just because Calderon’s daughter was kidnapped, he decides to step back as president, because somebody told him so? Ummm…

Weak season finale, lame episode, and I’m glad that the season is over for now. I don’t really know if I’m gonna watch the second season at all. 5.5/10

"Does this guy look like me?"

Peter and his affair of the night

It looks like the series is more getting into the fantasy genre. Last episode’s mysterious and mythological curse, and this episode some scientist managed to clone living objects in a couple of hours. For a show from the 70s it probably was an intriguing storyline, but knowing the science today, and how other TV shows and movies handled the topic, I seriously had to laugh about the cloning here – and I can’t think of any reason why I shouldn’t. Okay, this episode aired in 1978, but how is it possible for a scientist to take a DNA sample from a frog, and two hours later the cloned version of the frog looks exactly the same, probably has the exact age, and completely jumped through the growing process, but stayed a … I don’t know, two-year-old frog for the rest of his life (probably). There were just way too many plot holes here, especially when the second cloning came into the story.

Well, the story… It was kinda alright. Though I don’t really know why Dr. Moon (Lloyd Bochner) was so eager to get awarded for his scientific achievements, and killed his scientific competitors for it, and why the woman of the week Peter (Nicholas Hammond) flirts with, Lisa (Morgan Fairchild), didn’t want to bust Moon for what he has done, never wanted to know what is actually happening around her, Peter finally had a great enemy for one episode, and I totally digged the fight Spider-Man versus cloned Spider-Man. But I would have wished to see more of the Peters duelling themselves, and playing more of a Jekyll/Hyde story, instead of just having the lame last third this episode had. Jekyll and Hyde were already mentioned here, but the episode never went farther than just mentioning the craziness and repercussions of cloning a man.

Other than that, some other plot holes were hilarious: How is it possible for clone-Peter to know everything that original-Peter knows (okay, this is a standard-question with every clone story – after all I can’t think of memories being cloned too)? How is it possible that clone-Peter was so eager to kill original-Peter, right after he was finished cloning (again, the Jekyll/Hyde story didn’t just came short, it didn’t come at all)? And how was it possible for clone-Peter to not age during the day he was clone-Peter, but he needed like a couple of hours to be cloned? And how was it possible for Moon to age like 50 years within ten seconds? And why was the ending so damn stupid? Suddenly cloned-Moon ages rapidly, because he realized he made a mistake, dies, and the story is over. That was just a stupid ending, and reminded me of the bacteria-finish of WAR OF THE WORLDS.

Well, this episode was hilarious on a bad note. Maybe that’s why I’ve had so much fun with it. By the way, I totally laughed during the dialog-line “You are me, I am you, and this is a gun.” 7/10

Moon has just awakened Peter...

... and now there are two Spider-Mans in New York

Now I understand the connection between this episode and “The Con Caper”. The first scene showed us a worried Rita (Chip Fields), who mentioned the last episode.The only thing about it: It was visibly filmed much later, and cut before this episode, so it can serve as the bridge between “The Con Caper” and “The Curse of Rava”. Was it necessary? Absolutely not. Do I know why the producers decided to do that? How the hell should I?

It was a boring episode with an interesting story though. Finally the series offers more than just the criminal of the week, and actually served something like a supernatural story, which could have come directly from the comics. But during the last third of the episode, the story transformed to a science-version of the supernatural, which was a shame. But maybe such supernatural stuff wouldn’t have worked in network television in the 70s. The actual curse of Rava was just the plug for Mandak (Theodore Bikel) to (almost) kill people, and I didn’t understand why he never stole the idol in the beginning, and had to threaten people to get the idol. No wonder why he was so stupid at the end, and almost killed himself. The reason of Mandak’s actions were completely missing. But hey, it brought Jameson (Robert F. Simon) into jail for a short time and some funny lines from him.

The use of Trina (Adrienne Larussa) as the girl of the episode was lame too. First she was the woman in Peter’s (Nicholas Hammond) university, whom he is bumping into, and hopes to get information about Rava out of her, but then she was just… that. A useless character, who cried to Peter, because she feels guilty. Yawn.

By the way: Sure, it’s the 70s, but I’m getting annoyed about all the archive footage of Spiderman in action. I want to see some new material (well, previously unused), where Spiderman jumps and flies through New York.

Well, lame episode, but it had some interesting parts. 5.5/10

Barred windows for this gentleman here

There's a spider on your car. Where's the bug spray?

Well then, THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN stays good-looking for a show before my time, but still boring. Especially this episode showed why it is never good to have a somewhat interesting first half, but the last ten minutes don’t interest me at all, though it all is about the endgame of the story. And again I find it pretty much cool that the writers didn’t pick up on much Spiderman action throughout the series and this episode. Three sequences with Peter (Nicholas Hammond) in his mask, while the rest of it was a mix of Peter trying to figure out if James (William Smithers) is the bad guy, or seeing the villains of the episode making their incredibly illogical stunt, just to rob a bank.

Well, the story – again – was pretty much shit, when it came to the reasons why James did all of this. The prison riot was actually a good story, and it could have stayed a good story. But the writers obviously needed a motive for James, and picked out the “usual” bank heist. But then I was asking myself, why James’ plan was so complicated – it could have gone so easy, let alone he could have hired his guys outside the prison. But no, he fakes a riot, so that he can break out two of his prison friends, and later they train one of them to jump from one building to another – with a motorbike. Very hilarious all of this, and pretty much illogical, way too complicated, and it could have been done way easier. Furthermore, I don’t even want to mention, why the bank had no security, and the actual heist was million times easier than getting from one building to the other.

Some random facts: I love the stock footage the producers use all the time, like Spiderman falling off a building and saving himself with spinning a net under him, and his very sporty stunt of getting off of it. In addition, the producers always use the same roof of the same building every time, when Spiderman is in action – very hilarious too. Furthermore: The writers could include Julie (Ellen Bry) a bit more in the series. Though this was an episode of the second season, I wonder what the writers want with Julie – is she the Mary Jane/Betty replacement for the series? But it was nice that Rita (Chip Fields) got a bunch of screentime, though her singing wasn’t really that interesting (it sounded awkward, but maybe this was just the bad audio file I had).

The episode was alright, nothing more. Only Spiderman’s action on the car was nice, the rest was forgettable. And does it actually suck to accidentally watch an episode from the second season, when you’ve just started the first season to watch, even though the series is a crystal clear procedural? Well, it kinda does, especially for me. But I wonder what this episode had to do in a 90-minute couple with “The Curse of Rava”. I’m confused. Anyway… 6/10

While Rita sings...

... Spiderman balances in the air

I wanted to consider this 90-minute episode as the “proper” pilot, and I don’t even know why I wanted to do that. At the end I failed anyway, since the first “real” episode(s) of the series are more i its tone of the series than the TV movie a.k.a. pilot episode. I still can’t shake it that the whole thing looks, sounds, smells and tastes like a series from the 70s, and I still can’t get over the fact that Spiderman is on walls only. I still have Raimi’s movies and some of the animated episodes in my head, so my imagination of a live-action Spiderman outside the movie theaters is still a shaky matter. But then again: The double episode was actually good, and how good is it to see a Spiderman-production with only around ten minutes of screentime for Spiderman? Bottom line: very good.

Well, like the pilot, the story was pretty much blatant. A college professor wants to handle real-life Plutonium on the campus, for everybody to steal. And like Peter (Nicholas Hammond) and friends argued, the theft happened: Plutonium is on the run in New York, Spiderman gets some action in the press (and not just in the New Yorker press), and a terrorist named Mr. White (Robert Alda) (like his suit, and like his car) in Switzerland gets attention in this episode, when he learns about the Plutonium and Spiderman. Though the story had one plot hole after another, I was happy that the 70s-style of it didn’t kill the “seriousness” of the Plutonium/atomic bomb-story so much. While the first half only dealt with Peter trying to find out who stole the Plutonium, the second part was a nice chase through Los Angeles with some Spiderman-action at the end, and the always predictable happy end.

I liked two things about the episode: that it took place in Los Angeles for a large amount of time (going out of the New-York-comic-universe was a nice and welcomed change), and JoAnna Cameron. Though her portrait of the Miami reporter Gale was pretty much a cliché at all ends, she was seriously hot from her first scene until the last. And since I’m a twentysomething-guy, I have to mention that Gale’s bikini scene, after she was kidnapped, was the most appreciated highlight of these two episodes. It looked just funny to see that Gale was kidnapped by Mr. White and his little helpers, but still had to appear in a sexy bikini and absolute stylish sunglasses – together with the smile on her face, when Spiderman saved her out of the trouble, as if she wanted to scream “You’re my hero, can I frenchkiss you?”.

That the story brought J.J. Jameson (Robert F. Simon) into some action too, was nice as well, even though he only lost track of Peter and Gale in L.A., and had to chug after those two “teens” with the big story for the Daily Bugle. Other than that the series would be more better, if it includes a few more characters. Rita (Chip Fields) is a major character, according to the credits, but she didn’t get much attention behind the desk of hers. Furthermore, I was stunned to realize that Gale wasn’t realizing Peter being Spiderman. She asked him the question earlier, and then he saves her life two times. But she obviously couldn’t remember herself asking Peter the question, if he is Spiderman. Hilarious was Peter’s answer though (“He is closer than you think.”) – if you want to tell a hot girl from Miami that you’re Spiderman, just do it!

It would have been a solid episode, when I would have lived in the 70s, but it was as alright as the pilot. Still not boring enough though, which is a surprise too. 6.5/10

Spidey's sixth sense: red eyes

Introducing: a (very hot-looking) hostage named Gale

This is the start of a “new kind” of reviews from me. I was always thinking about why I was waiting to post my reviews, when I’ve watched the complete season of a series. From now on I won’t wait. From now on, I watch an episode of a series, write a short review, post it. And at the end, there will be linkspam, just to complete my archive and have a bit of a better overview for you guys. I will start with CBS’ version of the first live-action SPIDER-MAN. Date of birth: 14 September 1977.

I remember to have watched some of it in German television, when some of it aired, and just had in my mind how stupid the web “effects” looked back then. Watching it now I realized it was a nice 90 minutes of retro entertainment. The pilot didn’t just look like it was produced in the 70s – for a show that age, I was surprised that most of it was shot on location. But then again I didn’t watch much 70s television shows in my life and still have to get acquainted of TV shows from that time.

The pilot was nice. It had its lengths, it had its stupid scenes, it had its typical acting pieces, where you know this comes from a time before you were born. I just mention the detective here and the scenes where he had a cigar in his mouth, trying to speak with it to Peter (Nicholas Hammond) – a somewhat hilarious moment, and of course a trademark of US productions from the 70s. Other than that, the acting was actually surprisingly good. I was buying Hammond’s Peter Parker in almost every second, though it wouldn’t have hurt to put more “college boy” into the character (I’ve had the feeling he was a thirtysomething, working in a lab and for the Daily Bugle – not much with college stress, exams or something similar), and the pilot didn’t waste much time in bringing the other characters into the game. Judy (Lisa Eilbacher) was interesting as a character for the pilot, but the friendship between her and Peter was just a show for the writers to bring a character from Peter’s circle of close friends into life danger, and nothing more.

The story… Well, kinda stupid, even for a 70s show. Mind control is always nice, and I loved what the story did to Spiderman in the new animated series, but here it was boring, predictable, and pretty much lame. Byron (Thayer David) was a lame villain of the episode, and he didn’t even have much screentime to be a “real” villain of the episode. The fact that he was a slave of his own kind at the end was a nice twist, but I was asking myself where that was coming from. That Peter would become “one of the ten” (and seriously: There were more than 15 people sitting in the room during the brainwashing) was predictable too, so no surprises there.

Some words to the origins story: lame for today’s standards, but it had to go fast back then. I was just surprised to see that Peter could run up a wall a couple minutes after he was bitten by the glowing radioactive spider (very hilarious scene, btw). But the whole “I have superpowers and stuff” went a bit too fast for me – the origins basically weren’t in the pilot at all. The same day, he was climbing around aunt May’s (Jeff Donnell) house (funny scene too, you could smell the picture Hammond was “climbing” on the whole time), the next day, he “just” made his costume, made the first pictures of Spiderman for the Bugle, and there he was – the first Marvel superhero on live-action television. But maybe I just love Sam Raimi’s movie too much. One final thing: The scenes where Peter was climbing up walls looked hilarious too. I was looking for the rope heaving Hammond, but didn’t find it. Anyway, what could you do more in a 70s TV show – because the rest looked pretty much good.

6.5/10 for the first 90-minute episode, so let’s see how the rest will be. Fortunately the series is short, so I won’t be bored for very much long. Sorry for the quality of the pictures, but that’s how my copy of the pilot episode looked like. And I watched it on my 17” laptop.

A speechless New Yorker

Spiderman shows his butt - I'm speechless