A Man. And His Blog.

I don’t think anymore that THE PROTECTOR is the worst show ever. Well, actually I never though of the series like this, but it remains unimportant, forgettable and boring. At least this episode could deliver some humor, a storyline within the Sheppard family, and the writers brought back Romeo (Terrell Tilford, I always thought he was recast. He so does not look like on his IMDb page). Actually, it was his first real episode. I’m glad to say it’s the best episode of the series so far (not difficult after three episodes), but I’m still totally underwhelmed and wait for the wow-effect. Even though it’s just a shoot-out for a couple of seconds (not a single shot has been fired yet). In addition, I’m asking myself why this show is titled “The Protector”. This word doesn’t even have anything to do with the police business.

The murder case of the week was boredom as usual. A few red herrings; a twist in the last quarter of the episode, where I went “Where the fuck was this coming from now?”, and basically no reason to remember the episode, after I’m finished with this text. Well, except the fact that the writers included Nick (Sage Ryan) in the story, even though completely stereotypical. Anyway, the case. I don’t know if I should believe that Madison (Haley Ramm) was really so clever like she depicted. Even though the scene where she confessed in Gloria’s (Ally Walker) car was nice, I totally predicted that Gloria would record Madison’s confession, which seems to be ass-kicking in this series’ universe. A lame little twist, but what the hell… Somehow the episode needed the finish line. In addition, I wondered where the twist with the narcotics came from. All of a sudden, Colleen was a dealer, who sold her stuff to the students, and it came near the end of the episode, without any way of the writers to tease the twist beforehand? Very lame. I have to say though I liked that headmaster O’Dell (David Starzyk) was such a dirty boy. I was actually smiling when Valdez (Miguel Ferrer) read the sexy letter from O’Dell.

It was a good idea to bring Romeo into the story. I already wondered during the pilot, what he is doing in the main cast, when he’s just a traffic cop. Now he’s kinda a detective (for good now, or was it just temporarily?), and clashed with Michelle (Tisha Campbell-Martin) because of it. There was a single moment of a character scene, when the two were talking about Romeo’s new “job” (I still don’t know if it’s for real), and I hope the writers are going to build on a working relationship between Romeo and Michelle – after all, it’s not a Gloria-show. Maybe. Probably. I don’t know…

So, Nick is intelligent? First it seemed like a forced story, just so Gloria’s kids can be in the show, as well as Davey (Chris Payne Gilbert), who got another fifteen seconds, where he could talk to Gloria about stuff. But I don’t mind the story for now, and maybe the writers have a little story arc going on now, with Nick going to private school and blowing things up for fun (suddenly I’m thinking about Showtime’s SHAMELESS here). I just have to nitpick about the toast stuck at the ceiling: It was clearly thrown outside of the range of the table, and at the end of the day, it falls on the table, in front of Gloria? Hell, no way…

In THE PROTECTOR standards, a solid episode. In TV standards, the series is still not kicking butts, instead sleeping through the summer. 6/10

Off to a scientific experiment!

Off to the arrest!

I wonder if that’s actually the real title for this episode, because some sources seem to be different. No one wants to watch the show, let write about it, and even IMDb is pretty much shitty in updating the series’ pages. Anyway … the series stays unimportant, unimaginative, and boring. I just can’t stand it, when writers waste their time with not bringing in a twist into their shows or movies. And I don’t call Gloria being a single mother with annoying kids and a troubled brother a twist, especially since she’s not that perfect at all, and a victim of bad writing.

In this case, I mean the scene how Gloria (Ally Walker) came to know that Tom Fowler (Connor Trinneer) was the one who brought the guys into killing the witnesses. She sat together with the slimy lawyer Whatshisname (Larry Miller), wanted to bust his ass, and in the middle of the conversation, she suddenly realizes the husband was the killer, to revenge his wife? That was like a MacGyver moment, or maybe Gloria was Patrick Jane for a second there, because I really could not realize how Gloria came to think of the husband being the killer. Just because Whatshisname said something about the perspective of cases, rooting for both the mob and the feds in different cases? I kinda liked the thing with the perspective, because it’s actually true, but I can’t see why Gloria was so into looking at the victims’ pictures and found out that Fowler was the killer.

Anyway, the rest of the episode was okay and boring. I liked the addition of Kenny Johnson as Detective Cummings, and he had nice chemistry with Gloria. First I was believing Cummins would be the killer, because of the scene in jail, when he smashed Markham (Gary Cairns) with his words, and earlier when he ran out to make a call – these were two scenes teasing the guest character being the killer, and maybe it was on purpose from the writers. If so, clever writing on this occasion. The investigation itself was okay. The first couple of minutes were a fake-out, as well as the whole thing about the shot in the mouth. Gloria was talking and thinking about it the whole first half of the episode, but then it wasn’t included in the end game and didn’t really have a real purpose. Yes, the shot in the mouth suggested that the killings are personal, but Fowler had no reason to let them be shot in the mouth at all. It was like a gimmick, but the gimmick was way too presented in the first half.

I loved the final moment between Valdez (Miguel Ferrer) and Whatshisname though – as if the two of them can’t stand and want to kill each other, and as if the lawyer is going to return in a later episode. The other sub plots were forgettable and unworthy of being mentioned here. Average episode. 5.5/10

Interested in how THE SHIELD looks like from a woman's perspective

A quiet and deep look on the board brings the answer

If that ain’t a 42-minute collection of all possible TV clichés, then I don’t know. The series premiere of THE PROTECTOR was a mixture of all kinds of shows, and I don’t know if Lifetime wanted to have an “original” series here, or just a copy of TNT’s THE CLOSER, just with a troubled brother and two annoying kids on the side. I don’t know if Lifetime wants to have “original” stories with their new show, or just copy the usual light crime storylines from RIZZOLI & ISLES or even those ultralight no-brainers on the USA Network. The pilot of THE PROTECTOR makes it very easy for me to hate the series and to not continue to watch it throughout the summer. But hey, who knows if the second episode shows more about the series than the pilot did. I have the feeling that producers, directors, and especially writers are using the pilot episode to smash everything to the table, until they get the chance in the second episode to actually tell the show’s arc. Remember me hating SWITCHED AT BIRTH because of it?

Not that THE PROTECTOR had a superfast pace. It was just boring and a chock full of clichés. I noted just a few throughout the episode: the single mother; her troubled brother; two annoying little fuckers as sons, who don’t have anything to do in the series; that no one but the heroine believes that the “mugging gone south” was a targeted murder; that it took more than half an episode for somebody to believe that the murder was targeted; the old twist of affairs and mistresses in the murdered guy’s life, and the addition of his wife knowing about them all; the clichéd crime-show sentence “he/she is hiding something”; the flirtations between a cop and a detective. So, all quiet on the western front. Another TV show, which has nothing to offer. At least Ally Walker is good enough to deliver her role, even though the script doesn’t do anything with her character. She was charming, and she delivered anything she could. Plus, it’s good to see her in a new TV show, I truly missed her regular appearances (no, I have not seen SONS OF ANARCHY yet).

So talk about the case a bit, it was all known and predictable. Like I said, I just couldn’t believe that there is still a crime drama out there, who starts the episode with a similar “It’s a robbery gone wrong, no need to investigate further”, when out main heroine Gloria smells the big fish behind the dead guy on the ground. In addition I can’t understand why writers even used that plot for their first act. It’s old, it doesn’t work anymore, and it just kills the thrill, because we know before we even start to watch the episode that the main detective will bite his or her teeth into the case and uncover all the secrets, leading to the arrest at the end. That made the whole middle part of the pilot useless, it made the part of the investigation boring (because of the worst mistake writers for crime TV shows can do), and it makes the rest of the episode predictable.

The worst thing the writers could have done, you might ask? Including the son of the killed guy in the first act, when the scene had no meaning at all. Why are the writers not learning? Why aren’t they making a bit more thrilling and intriguing? They can keep the lightweight of the story, and they can keep all the scenes with the Los Angeles skyline in the background (they actually looked cool – as if the city was still clean and sober), but they have to learn not to make the whole episode predictable. One scene like this, which only takes about ten seconds of time, is ruining all the fun I could have had. There must be a way to prevent that, or is anybody not caring about those storytelling mistakes?

So, was the pilot good? Definitely not. Some cast members were interesting, though I don’t know how their characters are going to be included into any kind of story. Especially Davey (Chris Payne Gilbert) could be the point of trouble in Gloria’s private life. Either THE PROTECTOR becomes a IN PLAIN SIGHT ripoff over the first season, or it tries to pick up on the easy family stories like RIZZOLI & ISLES did. But fact is: I absolutely don’t believe the writers have something in store for Davey. Tisha Campbell-Martin was so-so – not an intriguing character, but not a sleeping pill either. The chemistry between Gloria and Michelle was a bit undeveloped though, and the moment, where Gloria put a spearmint into Michelle’s mouth felt forced and fake. The rest of the cast didn’t shine, or didn’t have anything to do. Or both.

All in all, there couldn’t be a worse crime show without any original ideas out there, and it couldn’t air on the worst cable network. I will watch the second episode, just to see if this all was “pilot problems”, or if THE PROTECTOR is really one of the most boring shows in this summer season. There is no solid anymore in the crime genre, and the writers have to start thinking about getting back to originality again. 3.5/10

Let's welcome the most stereotypical lead investigator in a TV show ever

Let's welcome the two most annoying characters in this new TV show